Uncooked Truth: My Life As A Car Salesman Pt. 1

 

Josh feels like reflecting on his time in car sales. Some of it was good, part was bad. However, he wants you to know he wasn’t one of “those guys” like you may think.

Disclaimer: Everything said in this piece will make more sense to you upon reading parts 2 & 3. This Uncooked Truth is about the events that lead one person to becoming a car salesman.

All of the life I’ve lived I can remember being a car guy. Growing up around them doesn’t guarantee anything, but I’m glad I caught the bug, because it’s a hell of a lifestyle and passion. Going through college I really had no friggin’ clue what I wanted to do with my life. When I graduated high school I found out I was not eligible to attend a four-year university because I didn’t graduate with Algebra II on my transcript. Seriously, I’m that bad at Math…

Just a few weeks before I was supposed to leave to attend a college, which shall remain nameless, I got a call. My school’s guidance counselor, principle, and a well respected Monsignor (A step up from a Catholic Priest) all were in my principle’s office arguing with the dean of admissions and, if I recall correctly, the president of the school to try and talk them into accepting me. I went to a Catholic high school, as I am Catholic myself, but was also applying to a Catholic college, too. That’s why the Priest was there. Basically what came out of that conference call was that, even though I’d busted me ass senior year, I couldn’t come to their school. The whole year they were getting my report cards trying to decide whether or not I could be accepted to the school. I was intending on majoring in music, as I had been playing guitar with honors all four years of high school.

Anyway, this is all leading up to what I intend on telling you about my life as a car salesman.

I was pretty devastated, to say the least. I’d been working very hard to get into this college, and I had to rush out and sign up for a community college. I should note that I wasn’t an idiot, I did in fact get denied by other schools, too, however this was the one I really wanted, so I called them after I got my ‘no, you can’t come here’ letter. I told them I was going to show up on the first day regardless. I think they liked that attitude, so they worked with me to help me get in. Unfortunately, the dead and president couldn’t find an extra seat for me at the freshman table.

So that was my life for a few years: I went to community colleges, and a four-year university as a summer student, all while taking Algebra II twice and failing it both times. Go ahead, laugh… I do. When it comes to History, the Arts, most Sciences, English, etc. I’m pretty good. Math? Oh God no.

Finally on July 4, 2007 a friend of my parents sat me down -someone I truly look up to- and talked to me about what the hell I was doing with my life. I honestly had no idea. He said, “You’re good with cars. Everyone comes to you when they want to buy a car… why not try that?” Hmm… he had a good point.

-Josh meeting Mario Andretti in Raleigh, NC just over a year before his car sales epiphany-

One time in particular always stands out as a ‘told ya so’ moment. Some of my parents’ friends, the parents of a girl I went to high school with, talked to my dad and I at dinner one night asking what car the mom should lease. They were looking at either the Mercedes-Benz E320 or E350 (this was between 2004-06, I can’t remember), BMW 530i, and Cadillac CTS. I nixed the CTS right away. At that time it wasn’t even close to what it is today. And I don’t even like the one currently on sale… Even though I’m a BMW guy, I recommended the Mercedes, because knowing the family, I knew that’s what they would easily prefer. My dad, saying I had no idea what I was talking about, talked them in to leasing a CTS. I guess when you’re 18-20 years old your opinion is pretty useless. Well, not even three months later they traded in the Cadillac for the Mercedes-Benz. Having the biggest poo-eating grin on my face while they proceeded to tell my dad and I how much they disliked the Caddy and made the wrong decision.

In August of 2007 I started selling cars at a Mazda-Kia-used car dealer in North Carolina. I’ll keep the names out of this one, just for the sake of the guilty and the innocent.

Tune in to Part 2 of My Life As A Car Salesman on May 2.

 

I'm a car, music, and Howard Stern aficionado. I also love planes, trains, anything to do with science and engineering, as well as politics. I'm working on my screenplays, TV shows, and a book or two. Stay tuned to when I'm really famous and even more awesome.

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