The Greatest For Sale Ad Ever

 

I was looking around on the various BMW forums and came across a gentleman trying to sell his E92 335i. I saw in his forum signature that he had a lot of ///M cars, so I expected the reason being was the lack of M-ness about the 335 BMWs.

What I read instead was the greatest for sale listing I think I’ll ever see. It’s honest; it’s charming; it’s gold! Print it, box it, sell it!

The first part of the ad reads as follows:

Hello Shoppers and Buyers:

Welcome to my 335 ad! I sold my E46 M3 last week and bought this POS (check my posts). I can’t stand this car. It is the WORST car I have ever owned. Lack of LSD is sellingly annoying. Seating position is indescribably awful. Whole car just sucks. I sit on a god damn throne with my head rubbing on the roof and I’m 5’11. HVAC is poorly designed and worse than in E46. I knew selling my perfectly running E46 M3 was a bad idea and I still did it because i wanted something different. Well, I got what I deserved I guess

For everybody out that is considering to make a switch from ANY M cars to these pieces of shit I STRONGLY RECOMMEND YOU NOT TO DO IT. Car sucks. For you regular 3-series, non-LSD people, you will be used to more of the same, one-wheel drive, non-telepathic steering, shitty seats with ugly ass, non-matched colored headliner.

So having said that I still NEED to sell it to some poor sucker who is still salivating over twin turbo mambo jumbo nonsense.

Quick Facts:

-Overweight 2007 BMW 335i

-N54 twin vroom psshh model

-60k (GUESS WHAT? no, it’s not all highway FOR ONCE in for sale ads)

-6-speed

-Certified pre-owned (CPO) until October 2012 or 100k

So if you’re in the market for a 335i BMW, this guy wants you to buy his hunk of crap… I will disagree and say that the 335i is a very good car, to any non-M owner. But I will agree 100% that it needs at least an option box for a limited-slip differential. This inside wheel smoking thing around the corners is getting a little old for it to be The Ultimate Driving Machine. It’s a beautiful car, though, and I’d still have it as a daily driver.

[Source: Bimmer Forums]

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I'm a car, music, and Howard Stern aficionado. I also love planes, trains, anything to do with science and engineering, as well as politics. I'm working on my screenplays, TV shows, and a book or two. Stay tuned to when I'm really famous and even more awesome.

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